


General Hux's Eggcellent Easter Egg Eggstravaganza

by 12snails



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Play, Derogatory Language, Easter Eggs, Eggs, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, M/M, Misuse of Engineering Degrees, Oviposition, Power Bottom Hux, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:19:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12snails/pseuds/12snails
Summary: Kylo tells stories about "Easter" and Hux has to investigate further, leading to Hux to celebrate the supposed holiday in his own way.





	General Hux's Eggcellent Easter Egg Eggstravaganza

When Ren had offhandedly told Hux about the tales of a holiday known as “Easter,” the General was sure Kylo was making up stories again to amuse him. Rabbits sounded fake in itself, but a gigantic, humanoid one that hopped about hiding eggs for children to find? Surely Ren had been snorting spice to concoct a story like this.

But Ren was right. After a little research, Hux discovered that Easter was, indeed, a _real_ event on a very far-off planet. Sure, it varied a little from what Kylo had said, but perhaps the force-user didn’t have fodder for brains after all. 

All of this research into “Easter” got Hux thinking—why couldn’t he have his own version of the holiday? Life aboard the Finalizer was tedious at times and he deserved a bit of fun, didn’t he? Especially with how hard he’d been working lately. 

Luckily, no one else aboard the Finalizer seemed to know what the holiday was. Hux figured that out whenever he commissioned twelve pastel colored eggs to be created by a confused group of First Order engineers. The General reminded them just once that their job was to follow orders and not ask questions.

Within two days the eggs were delivered to Hux’s quarters and waiting for him after a long twelve hours on duty. When he opened the container, the sight of the eggs actually brought a smirk to his face. They were oval in shape, and roughly two inches in length. There were three eggs of each pastel color—yellow, green, purple, and pink. This was the most excited Hux had been about anything in a while; he would have to commend those responsible for their good work.

He promptly carried the container to his private quarters, lowering the lights and removing his boots before getting on the bed. It didn’t take long to completely undress, and as Hux grabbed his go-to bottle of lubricant, he decided that he already liked his version of Easter very much. He deserved this.

Hux knew he was doing a sloppy job of preparing himself for the eggs, but he was eager to get to the _egg-citing_ part. _Egg-citing_. The General wanted to send himself to reconditioning for that one. If Ren was here to hear what he was thinking, he would have never let Hux live it down.

 _Good enough_ , Hux thought to himself as he reclined back on some pillows, spreading his legs enough. Inhaling deeply to relax, he reached over to grab the first egg—a pastel pink one, and it felt heavy in his hands. The engineers did a _truly_ magnificent job.

Leaning his head back, Hux reached down to begin pushing the first egg inside of him, gasping softly as the widest part of the egg struggled to slip into his hole. Clearly, he hadn’t taken enough time, but Hux knew that before he began. Once the first egg was in, he whined at the sensation of it—just one egg and he was feeling full. _Perhaps it is best to wait on the second one_.

Hux slowed his breathing, sliding one hand up to toy with one of his nipples. The cool air of the room had perked them up already, but his own fingers drew nice, soft noises that still surprised the General himself. Who knew he could sound so sweet?

As Hux massaged his own nipple, his other hand worked at his half-hard cock. Each stroke caused his body to shift, reminding the officer of what he’d just inserted into himself. How long could he wait when each movement was a constant reminder?

It wasn’t long before Hux found himself picking up a purple egg, spreading his legs a little more. He didn’t expect the second egg to be more difficult, but Hux’s body was tense from subconsciously keeping the first egg in. After coating the purple egg with lube, Hux tried again.

This time, he let out a loud moan as the first egg was pushed further inside himself. Two was _enough_ , two felt _good_. _Why did I order twelve? Why, why, why_? The General thought to himself.

Hux shifted to his side, breathing labored as he tried to calm down. Perhaps he should have asked Ren to assist after all. _Ren_. The officer’s body tensed as he heard someone outside his door. _You’ve got to be kidding me_. Ren had caught him in compromising positions before, but _this_ was a whole new level.

Closing his eyes and burying his face into the sheets, Hux wished he could disappear as he heard the door open. It _had_ to be Ren. Only Ren could mentally open the lock.

“Are you serious?” It was _definitely_ Ren. No one else had a voice like that, and he _clearly_ had seen the eggs. Hux knew he was most likely blushing all over.

Hux lifted his head, squinting a little at the light until Kylo closed the door behind him. “And didn’t I tell you to knock?”

“I felt you were distressed.”

“Do I look distressed?!” Hux snapped back, gritting his teeth a little. He rolled onto his stomach, providing some relief to the pressure inside of him. The sensation made him release a pleasured sigh.

Kylo simply stared at the General before sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I guess not.” There was about 30 seconds of silence between them before Kylo asked, “You do know this isn’t how Easter goes right? We talked about coloring eggs and egg hunts, but uh…this is no egg hunt.”

“I know this isn’t how Easter goes!” Hux hissed, stretching out a little on his stomach.

Ren noticed two eggs missing from the box and looked at Hux, a smirk appearing on his face. “So you going to put the rest of them in?”

“No!” Hux looked at Kylo as if he was out of his mind. Two eggs were a struggle, but twelve eggs would be actual suicide.

“How about just one more then?” Kylo smiled as he picked up a green egg, rolling it around in his palm.

Closing his eyes and letting out a whine, Hux contemplated Ren’s proposition. He’d been so excited for this, but hadn’t anticipated being overwhelmed so soon. _Just one more…maybe_. Hux nodded and finally looked up to meet Ren’s eyes, “Just one more. But that’s it!”

Kylo grinned as he reached over to grab the bottle of lube so he could lather it on the egg, making sure it would be slick enough. He then moved further onto the bed so he could crouch between Hux’s legs. “Come on, you know what to do.”

Hux obediently spread his legs, closing his eyes as he felt Kylo start to push the third egg inside of him. The whimper that came out of his mouth was humiliating, and encouraged Kylo to push a little more. “Yeah? You like this, don’t you? You like being filled up with eggs, like some—" 

The pressure was becoming too much to bear. Hux gripped at the sheets below, looking back at Kylo as he interrupted him, “Slow down, you prick!” 

Shaking his head, Ren almost rolled his eyes at Hux. He was always so demanding, even in bed, but Kylo still listened. He would typically defy Hux, but not in the bedroom. Kylo knew better.

Ren slowed down, taking further care as he worked the rest of the egg into Hux, admiring how the officer’s whole body tensed and relaxed while he tried to save face by remaining calm.

Once the third egg was completely inside of Hux, the General breathed a sigh of relief and looked back over his shoulder at Ren.

“How _does_ it feel?” Kylo questioned out of pure curiosity. There was no taunting tone in his voice this time.

“Honestly?” Hux lowered his head down to rest his forehead against his arms now as he relaxed. “Really good. Three is perfect.”

Ren leaned up, resting an arm on either side of Hux before lowering himself so he could leave a trail of kisses up the General’s pale back. He kissed each shoulder blade and leaned forward to talk against Hux’s ear in a low tone, “Now how about you push those eggs out for me?”

Hux had worked so hard to get this far and wished to keep the eggs inside him a little longer. The thought of pushing them out, just for Ren to fuck him was more than appealing. He’d still make Ren wait just a little so he could _really_ enjoy this. 

Hux turned onto his back underneath Ren and smiled up at him as he ran a hand over Kylo’s chest. “In a little…and _only_ if you promise to put them back when you’re done with me.” At this, Hux smirked and leaned up to leave a light bite on Kylo’s jaw—a challenge.

Sometimes, Hux was _impossible_ to deal with, but damn, if this didn’t make it all worth it to Kylo. “I promise.” He fought off the urge to call Hux a greedy slut for his demands, and figured it was best not to. Not if he wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how I feel about writing this, but I felt as though I had to because it's egg season and someone had to. Yell at me on Tumblr over at colonel-sandors if you want to talk about it or draw art of this mess because I would love that 1000%.


End file.
